Thursday, 24 May 2007

  • the last 24 hours of my life

    I really haven't done any reflection on this matter. I'll be doing this blog entry on the spot.  Every number corresponds to the chronological hour of my last 24 hours.

    1. my last 24 hours in this world would start as soon as I wake up.I'll thank God for the beautiful ahead of me. I'll take a shower and wear in a beautiful white dress. I'll make breakfast for my family, something which I'm not fond of doing and join them in eating. (TIME CHECK: 6am)
    2. I'll hear mass with all of them.
    3. Will bid farewell to my family then off I go to the people closest to my heart, starting from my grandparents and relatives. Each ladies will receive a sunflower while the gentlemen will receive a big hug from me and leave them a little white envelope.
    4. The first hour would be for my relatives in my dad's side and next one would be for my mom's side
    5. I'll go and see dames, my high school barkada, and just chat with them maybe inside a videoke bar. I'll also leave them a little white envelope.
    6. Next would be with my blockmates and friends in school. I'll give them my notes for our classes and just discuss things with them. a white envelope is slipped inside the notes.
    7. For the next couple of hours, I'll be spending it with my BLD family. The first hour would be a perfect lunch date with all of them. We'll eat until we're all full. (TIME CHECK: 12pm)
    8. The second hour would comprise of a short worship and a big sharing group, where I'll tell them how much they really mean to me. I'll be sharing my bible to the ministry, because I've grown to be God's humble handmaid through the ministry and my bible. I'll hand over a white envelope to my bld kada.
    9. This hour would be with one of the toughest because I'll try to reconcile and ask for pardon to all those whom I have offended. I'll be taking a lot tissue and just pray everything will go well. I'll give them a white envelope.
    10. I'll ask the person whom I love the most to accompany me for the next 3 hours.
    11. He'll teach me how to ride the bike, buy me flowers, and just make all those pa-cute things in front of me. 
    12. Will go to the nearest beach in town, and just walk bare-footed along the seashore while holding hands. We don't have to talk for me to feel loved, because love can pass through our hands. And finally just sit there, give him the white envelope and wait for the sun to set.
    13. I'll be going to 2 stores to do some errands. (TIME CHECK 6pm) *
    14. I'll go home and eat dinner with my family and just chat with all of them especially with what happened to my whole day.
    15. Papa, Mama and I will bake cookies together just like how we always bond together. The shapes of the cookies will be a star, a car and a teddy bear.
    16. Baking takes about 2 hours, so for that two hours I will be showering my parents with acts of love.
    17. I'll then ask my sister to help me with my things, to just let go of all the things I have and put it in a box which is to be given to the less fortunate. and give her the white envelope.
    18. I'll bid farewell to my family for my 2 hour flight via jet to the nearest country, where snow exists.
    19. During the travel time, I'll start making "my thank you" list. Those blessings I've never known God has given me. (TIME CHECK 12am)
    20. I'll call back home to tell them that I arrive safely. I'll start calling over my love ones abroad.
    21. This time I'll be roaming around the streets of that country, and start mingling with other people.
    22. I'll go and look for a computer shop and just go online. Go over the sites I usually visit and then delete all of my accounts online.
    23. I'll find the best place where I can eat the cookies and share it to anyone who will be around the place. Next is I'll be praying to the Lord for the life he has given and just continue singing praise songs. *~ (TIME CHECK: 4am)
    24. I'll sleep peacefully in that place as soon as I felt the first ever snow on my face. (5am)

    *~ The white envelope has a note inside it which tells them all the truth about my death, how much I love them and that they need to go to Fort Bonifacio open field because I have a present for all of them. That is to share to them one of the things that brings hope to me which is a fireworks display while on the background the song I recorded for them.

    * The 2 stores I went to are the recording/mobile which played my song, and the fireworks shop.

    ~*~

    While doing this, at some parts I was crying. Even though I know this is too idealistic, it is something that I know I really want to do if given the chance. In the past few years, I've been frustrated of myself. I still am, but not as I was before. The dilemma I am facing is that I feel like I don't have any purpose in life. That my life isn't really worth it. It is as if I'm living just for the sake of it. But then God really made a big change in my life. He revealed something to me. The person whom I want to be, the person who I really am.

    " I love... not because of what this world could offer. I love... because it is the only thing I could offer this world.

    I live to love."

    - Rica Gran Flores

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